Ok, lets get right to the heart of the matter.
I’m a fraud. For years I’ve been convinced that I had a book or a series of books in me to write if I only had enough quiet time. Or the right space. Or time alone. Or the focus. Or whatever. And in fact, I have a really good book in me. But you may never get to read it, I’m sorry to say.
And I wanted to learn the play the mandolin if I only had enough quiet time. Or the right space. Or time alone. Or the focus. Or whatever.
I wanted to learn how to draw. That would be something I could do if I only had enough quiet time. Or the right space. Or time alone. Or the focus. Or whatever.
As you may have guessed for the past 8 weeks I had them all. I had the time, space, time alone, focus and whatever.
I did not write my masterpiece. I did not learn to play the mandolin. I did not learn how to draw.
What did I do?
I went outside and walked everyday.
I sat in quiet and drank my cup of hot tea without having to get up and reheat it.
I watched time pass by watching where the shadows from the movement of the sun landed on my fence.
I pulled weeds.
I watched Ted Talks and kept digging deep to learn, understand and grow. Loved this one by Bill Gates.
I planted flowers, tomatoes and peppers, then I covered them up on cold nights.
I read. And I shared my books with other friends who love reading as well.
I listened to new indie music on youtube.com and found new artists. Thank you to Alexrainbird Music)
I listened to books. I loved listening to Tom Hanks read The Dutch House written by Ann Patchett.
I baked bread.
I wrote letters to dear friends (send me your address if you want me to send you a letter too.)
I zoomed. A lot. I stayed connected with my Rotary Club and visited several other meetings and listened to their speakers.
I stayed in close contact with my family through Facebook Messenger video and Facetime.
I met on video with long time friends who I used to waitress with back in the day when I was a young mom. Those connections are still going strong. Amen for that!
– I’m going to cut myself some slack and honor what I’ve achieved.
No written book for the world to read (not yet anyhow) but lots of blogging.
No mandolin but listened to tons of music (lots of Indie music as well as ‘blow out the speaker’ loud tunes.)
No drawing except for doodles, but I painted my porch swing and added color to the front of my house with accents.
I think my time away from others has helped me put perspective on what matters.
Books, for sure.
Color, of course.
Walking, and movement.
Family. Friends. Contact.
And writing words in whatever form they need to be.
If I had to grade myself during my time of isolation I’d give myself a pat on the back. Actually, if I could possibly make it happen, I’d find a way to hug myself. One of those long hugs that you wish you could give to someone near and dear to you. One of those, ‘don’t let me go’ hugs. The kind where the other hand is rubbing up and down the shoulders and back. You know … touch.
That’s been missing during this time. Physical contact. People.
I hope during your time of isolation you were able to find what matters most and focus all your attention there. And let the other stuff slide away. What matters most to me ais the knowledge that I am enough just like I am. And you are too. I’m not sure but that sounds like something Mr. Rogers would say. I miss Mr. Rogers too.
Ted Talk – The Next Outbreak? We’re not ready yet.
6 thoughts on “Musings from a fraud…”
Well, I’m a fraud too. I’ve also been on furlough since April 1, and I also haven’t written my novel! I’ve spent my time on the internet and reading TONS of book blogs! Going back to work on June 1, but I’m retiring in August so… maybe if there’s no virus and I can go out and do more research for my book, I won’t be too much of a fraud.
I think you can consider the past few months your ‘downtime’ before the big ramp up of your book. And we all need that time … Now that you have it out of the way – you’ll have a whole different agenda come August. Best of luck on the book! (And thanks for stopping by to comment.)
Hi Margie, I think you’re doing the best thing by staying in touch with others. My husband kind of had a mission during all this – it was to reconnect with several friends he’d lost touch with. He had so much fun walking down memory lane with some of his old buddies and I think they did too. So many people are lonely these days, and acknowledgment does wonders.
P.S. I’m supposed to be earning a second income as a freelance writer, but say I never have the time. Fruad! I’ve had plenty of time during lockdown, but just haven’t done it.
I applaud your husband for reaching out. I’ve seen so many people do this which brings up so many cherished memories. Sorry to say that it took a pandemic for the world to slow down and listen and reach out. And I wish I had addresses so I could send cards to cheer up the masses of lonely people. Just because!
So true, we as a society seem to rise to the top in a crises. Too bad it takes something like that. Good idea about the letters.
Pingback: Coronavirus Summer: Water therapy – Happily … after retirement