This is the time when I start looking around to see who is ready, willing and able to join me. Sometimes I can’t find anyone and it makes me sad. I wonder sometimes whether I have too much times on my hands, and I wonder how to find friends to do crazy adventures with me.
Take a train across Canada? Sign me up.
Jump out of a plane. No thanks.
Kayak in the San Juan Islands? I’m packed and ready to go.
Soak in a hot springs? Oh yes!
Snowmobiling? No thanks – it’s a bit too loud for me.
Hike a new trail? Yes please.
Learn to play the guitar. Yes and move over.
Join a cooking class? Mmm, you bet!
Bungee jumping? I think I’ll pass on this one.
I know I can find some of my adventure mates on Meetup.com.
I am always on the lookout for new ideas, adventures and ways to meet people. Are they looking for me too?
So, what adventures do you want to cross off your list?
Ok, so you crossed off the days on the calendar, had the party, celebrated and NOW you are retired. Its time to sleep in and enjoy checking items off your bucket list.
You’ve cleaned closets, garages and drawers.
You’ve packed your bags and sailed the seas, visited beaches and climbed mountains.
You’ve weeded and planted, hoed and harvested.
You’ve sliced, hooked and sandbagged.
You’ve visited family, reconnected with friends and made new acquaintances.
You’ve casted, caught and released.
You’ve cruised, snoozed and boozed.
Now you’ve got 25+ years to go!
Having a strategy on how to spend your next 25 years is pretty important and often overlooked. Yes, you love to golf but to do so everyday for the rest of your life? Perhaps? Or maybe not too realistic.
Doing the same thing day after day, not only becomes more like a job (with no pay or benefits) but it’s like taking every vacation back to visit the folks in Syracuse. Year after year. A thousand places to visit and year after year … back home to Syracuse. It will get old really fast.
But, as a newly retired person you have a blank slate. Unless you start to add things to your canvas, others will do it for you. Look around right now and figure out who you want to spend your time with, what organizations you want to get involved with and investigate places where you want to visit.
As you create this list, as you research your topics, as you reach out and learn more – explain to others what you are doing and why. This is your first step in making new friends. The information you are seeking already exists … you just need to ask the question.
Creating your very own ‘Fun Stuff’ list will benefit you even on down days (yes, sorry to say, you will have down days) and keep you active, interesting and engaging. Finding the things that make you feel grounded will vary from person to person but they are the essence of our being. I know I’m sounding overly dramatic but just take a minute and think about it.
ACTION ITEM: Make a list of the things that make you smile. The list below is unique to me. What will be on your list? (My list spell out RETIRE!)
Read Exercise Travel Invest in yourself! Routine Education
Of course I’d list this one first – it’s my GO-TO hobby. I love visiting book stores, libraries, attending speaker series, and author presentations. I get a new look at the world through books. I have my own set of favorite authors and whether I read a book, listen on a cd or download to my smart phone, the act of ingesting someone’s words is a true gift.
One huge aspect of reading for me is visiting libraries. Libraries are unique and have their own personality. Some libraries are nondescript, bland, boring and easily forgotten. Other libraries are landmark buildings with glass ceilings and stand tall and proud. I just read one great blog post from The Library Lady Travels about a series of churches in Canada that were converted into libraries as a way to save the historical building and house books. I really want to visit those buildings! For all the libraries in between, they have their own sweet character that usually invites me to return.
Without exercise and a healthy body there really is no happy retirement, right? Without exercise there will be no walking, hiking, tennis, or golfing. A regular exercise routine is something to be scheduled and on the calendar. This routine can offer so much besides a happy body.
Reports and studies show that walking is the perfect exercise. I love walking but not running. I stopped running the day I realized I could walk faster than my ‘run.’ The secret to an exercise routine is that you do it, love it and embrace it. I was never going to embrace running but walking … oh yeah!
What is it that you love to do? When you are creating your list, remember to factor in strength training. As we age, our muscles lose mass. In other words, they are slowly dying. They need to be challenged, engaged and tested. Strength training is not specific to a gym either. You can get stronger without lifting weights.
It might take you a whole 5 minutes searching to find youtube.com videos of strength training without equipment routines. Once you find a few, bookmark them and try them all. Lunges, squats, push-ups, planks and resistance bands will cause you to sweat, stretch beyond your limits and be open for new opportunities. Pick bits and pieces from routines and create your own plan. Once you figure out what exercise you love, put it on your calendar!
Do not believe the studies that tell you “Only 20 minutes of walking a day is needed.” Phooey. Move it or lose it is my motto!
I believe that travel is a huge factor in my retirement happiness. The freedom to make plans that are months away or spur-of-the-moment make a big difference in my mental well-being. Before, I used to dream about building up vacation days so I could get out of town. I had to pass on those dream flights that popped at Wednesday at 2 am and would promise to whisk you to an amazing destination if you were packed and ready to board within 24 hours. Those flights are what blockbuster movies are all about.
So, here I am with time and a vehicle and all it will take is for me to schedule something on my calendar as a way to make it happen. Take a trip to Sedona on Tuesday. OK. Visit hot springs next month. Take a Napa Valley Wine Tour in September? Booked and on the calendar.
Invest in yourself!
This tip relates back to all the things you said you wanted to do. Learn to dance, play guitar, weave, sing, golf, cook, or whatever you promised you would do when you retire. Perhaps you are wanting to write a book, start a podcast, climb a mountain, learn a language or build a house. Investing in yourself includes giving away your time too. Finding a cause that resonates with your core values will be the way to start. Want to work with children, build houses, visit the sick, distribute food, hoe gardens, collect trash? There are organizations waiting for you to call. Most often, in order to invest in yourself it takes a bit of planning.
ACTION ITEM: Take a look at your bucket list and circle three things that you have to work hard to achieve. Want to learn to speak Spanish? Check out local community colleges or recreation centers for classes. Or go online and search for “free language app” or perhaps visit your local library.
What are those things that you dreamed about prior to retirement? Pick the top three and create a list of the steps you need to take to achieve them.
Then take one step.
Then tomorrow take another. Simple, easy and most important, you’ve put your dreams in motion. Congratulations!
OK, readers, this one is HUGE! I know, I know. For the past 30 years you have been on a schedule and now it’s time to go rogue. Or, maybe not.
Having a routine is powerful in so many ways. A set wake-up time or a scheduled daily exercise program is needed to keep moving forward. Without some sort of routine, days slip by and you’ll often ask yourself “what day is it?” At first it’s funny, then it is just frustrating. Those mindless days turn into years then into decades. Own your life again. Start now.
A routine holds you accountable to yourself. Knowing you are expected to be at the gym at 7 am gets you up and out the door. Perhaps 7am is your journaling time? Then put something on the calendar and stick with it. Not only will you find other like- minded individuals who show up when you do, you might find out you have lots in common.
Once you figure out what it is you want to learn, get online and find out more. Want to spend time learning college level material? Go to iTunes University. You will be amazed what is offered. Or go to your internet browser and search for Open Educational Resources (OER). These are free and open sources materials with a focus on getting college level material into the hands of students without the high price tag. Another place to continue online learning is via Youtube University, Coursera and TED talks, Tedx and TEDEd
Some communities offer classes through Osher Lifelong Learning Institutes. This foundation supports a national lifelong learning network for seasoned adults and operates on 124 campuses across the nation.
Download a podcast app and listen to almost any topic that interests you. (Go back to your bucket list for inspiration.) Find the search icon and type in your subject. You will be amazed at the variety and selection of speakers you can subscribe and listen to on a regular basis.
This is the time in your life to really stretch your imagination and do something amazing. Want to learn astronomy? Astrology? Astrophysics? Then check online courses, podcasts, books, community colleges, local universities and start asking HOW to make it happen. Just remember to get it on your calendar.
And, just for the record – I want you to kick back and be lazy. I think you earned it and nobody should take that away from you. Let the sun shine on your face, smell the flowers, breathe in the fresh air and enjoy that ice cold beverage. And then … make a plan. (smile)
Please, leave a comment and help me with this question.
Is reading a hobby?
I don’t sing, play a musical instrument, paint, quilt, sew, weaver, or dance. I don’t brew beer, make wine, cross stitch, or collect stamps.
But I do read. And I love to read. And I love to discuss good books. And I love to discuss the books I hate.
But it seems so passive.
Someone else did all the work. They put their butts in the chair and let the words flow. And on the days when the words didn’t flow, they still put their butts in the chair anyhow. Authors work hard. They show up. They put their butts in the chair on a regular basis. They edit, rewrite and when they are finally done – they promote their final product. They attend book signings, they Facebook. They Instagram. They blog. They write newsletters.
And I — get to read the final product. Is that considered a hobby?
I hope so because I spend quite a bit of time reading. I either have a book or an audiobook on hand at all times. Is reading an actual hobby?
I will happily let a good book consume me. And then there are the books that I adore so much that I find myself slowing down so I can prolong the story and hold off finding out the ending.
And for the books I don’t like. I set aside. I return to the library. I give away. I don’t have time for them. I wouldn’t watch a movie for an hour if I didn’t like it. No thank you very much. No reason to feel bad about it either.
I just finished rereading a book titled The Rent Collector. I loved it the first time and I loved it again.
The Rent Collector by Cameron Wright is a story about life in the municipal waste dump in Cambodia. Its an odd place. It’s an odd setting and it’s pretty powerful. It’s a story within a story. It’s about reaching down and pulling another up. Its about noticing something bigger and ASKING for help. It’s about the power of education. It really touched me both times that I read it. And, for the record, I rarely EVER read a book twice,
I don’t have the heart to dissect it as many good readers and editors might. I just embraced it and let it sit with me for a long time.
I feel honored when I read books that touch my soul like this one did. Perhaps I am too easily led by plot, however, in this case, I was ready to follow.
My other recent book that took me on a sweet journey was titled, This Tender Land by William Kent Krueger. It was a journey of abused kids running for their lives. It was a story of how they grew with each stop along the way. I was reminded of ‘Oh Brother Where Art Thou’ movie and the Odyssey and several others and yet, I willingly followed.
During my walk today I finished listening to Two by Two by Nicholas Sparks. I felt pretty disgusted with myself for downloading this audiobook. It was so scripted like a Hallmark movie and I resented the time I took away from my life to listen to it. Instead of closing the book and setting it aside (it was an audiobook after all) I just kept forwarding it at 30 second intervals. The main character was such a tool I wanted to stomp him into the dirt. I guess I was also upset that there seems to be too many words dragging down the story. I spent lots of time hitting the fast-forward button and probably missed some important stuff. But then, isn’t my time important too? Right? So, some good books crossed my path and some less memorable ones this past month.
And now I ask you again. What do you think? Is reading a hobby? I would truly love your thoughts and feedback.
Back to you. What are your thoughts? Many thanks for sharing!
I love reading blogs. Each blogger has a different and unique take on life. Whether they are into traveling, reading, retiring, budgeting, music or all of the above, everyone looks at the situation from their special place in the world and writes in their own beautiful voice.
Recently I read a blog from Catherine at Cryanny’s Cove and Amanda from Something to Ponder about bringing luck into their lives. They decided to be positive and just remind themselves they are lucky. Well, readers, I am lucky too. In a dozen ways. For instance, just this morning my lovely Comcast representatives reduced my monthly internet bill down $9 per month. OK, to be totally honest, it went from $62 to $82 and now it’s at $73. PRETTY LUCKY, RIGHT?
And I installed a door bell myself (and it works!) Along with that, I have a phone call coming this evening to help me resolve my laptop issues. So, as you can see, I am a luck magnet. I know you probably read “I am a love magnet” right? Well, why not? Why the heck not!
And the really lovely thing is that you are too! Stick with me, it’s sure to get way more fun over the next few months of luck and love.
I so enjoy the new ideas, exercises and challenges from other bloggers. Most times they don’t know how their words invite me to think in new ways or to question things that I always thought of as true. Or their photos make me turn to maps, or a books or search engines to learn more. I’ve found recipes that I added to my supper menu, jokes that made me laugh out loud or stories that made me cry.
The freedom and ability to write from my point of view about topics that touch my soul is a thing of beauty. Reading other blogs is the gift I give myself. I leave enriched and with the urge to put my fingers to the keyboard.
But let’s talk about creating luck, shall we? I know that being lucky is a state of mind. It’s how I embrace price increases, laptop failures, train crossings and awful ‘on-hold’ music. The thing is, life is a notebook full of blank pages. Spending time writing my disappointments instead of my successes will only take me (and you) down.
So, I’ll be paying attention to my luck and you, (yes, YOU) will get to hear about all the wonderful things that come my way. You, are more than welcome to become a luck/love magnet as well. In order for me to become this lucky magnet, I plan to do the following things:
Stay open to new opportunities.
Be aware of my surroundings.
Talk about my good luck.
Know that my luck is contagious.
Listen (luck and magic have their own frequency.)
If you are a lucky person and have nuggets to share, please leave a comment below!
I waited for the ‘holidays’ to be over before I put words to paper. The holidays are really hard for me. Unlike many of you surrounded by family and friends, mine were on the ‘please let’s hurry and get these over with’ side.
The most wonderful time of the year … not.
When I was a kid, Christmas was a dream come true. Presents, Christmas music, apple pie, mashed potatoes with turkey, parents, siblings, cousins, and Gramps. Laughter, banter, and good food made for the best memories.
Those days, those gatherings, those sounds are not in my world these days. I just wish I could go to sleep on November 30 and wake up on December 30. And, for a bonus, I get an extra month of my choosing!
Hello to more walks and lectures and seminars and movies and get togethers. Living in a college town I have the great opportunity to listen to amazing speakers and attend inspiring events. One biggie on my calendar is MESMERICA 360 FORT COLLINS: A VISUAL MUSIC JOURNEY. My friend bragged about how amazing it was when she saw it in Boulder. Now it’s coming to my town. Just for me!
Hello to more theater. Carole King? Coming to town but it’s pretty pricey. The Book of Morman? I heard it was wonderful. What other good ones are out there?
Hello to more good books and to putting down sub-par ones. Currently I am reading and ADORING a book titled This Tender Land by William Kent Krueger. Delightful in a million ways! I only want to sit and read it and yet I know that to read too fast is to finish it… see my dilemma?
Hello to more connecting with my friends. I have some friends who I see only once or twice a year and they live within an hour drive. Shame on both of us for not making the time.
Hello to more road trips. Right about now I either want to go to a cozy warm cabin and snowshoe or to a warm climate and just soak up the sun. Of course, every day I think of new road trips to take. This would be a great time to ‘know’ the right people who have mountain cabins or sunny houses they want to be occupied. I will gladly do that for you. (smile)
Hello to more blogging. And to more interaction with you. Who are you? Are you snowbirds and gone all winter long in your warm communities? Are you taking classes? Are you knitting or learning to play the guitar? Swimming? Dancing? Painting? Returning to school? I so want to know how you occupy your days.
Here’s to an amazing month of January 2020 and to connection, interaction, harmony and love. Truly,
At the end of every year, I write myself a love letter. It’s filled with all the wonderful things I did that year. I list trips, achievements, improvements and setbacks. I write about the jobs and volunteer positions I worked, people I met and roles I filled.
For me, the best part is going back and rereading past love letters to myself. I read about the year I had the shed built, the house painted, the dishwasher replaced as well as the sad saga of the new fridge being replaced by another new fridge just 2 years later (sad face.)
I also include a list of things I want to accomplish in the new year. Those letters are fun to read too because I get to read what I hoped for and what I actually achieved. Dreaming about far away trips, getting in shape, finding my mate, making amends, and other such plans. Some happened, some did not, some still might (Right?)
This year’s letter will list that I attended two family weddings, traveled to see my granddaughter 3 times, served as a Senior Counselor at a youth leadership camp, experienced ‘Peak Colors” in the NY Adirondacks in October, and feasted on all the memorable foods from my youth (apples, half-moon cookies, fried fish, clam chowder.) I went camping, hiking and kayaking. I made new friends and said good-bye to others.
These letters become my shorthand form of journaling – I can explain the present, report the past and plan the future. It is a succinct way of wiping away the past and leaving a blank canvas for the new year.
I feel like going back to the past love letters that I wrote and placing a star on my accomplished goals. My trip to Ireland (STAR), camping trip with friends (STAR), life in the mountains ( sad face), visit granddaughter (STAR)…
I began writing these letters to remind myself that the things I did really did matter. It was my time to acknowledge my accomplishments. There’s no boss to give me a raise or a pat on the back. There are no colleagues to remind me that I really did take that trip or climb that mountain or learn that software. Often times when I am feeling low and lonely especially during the holidays, it’s easy to forget the strides I’ve made. And so, I read about my past and write about my present.
In a strange way, I can hold myself accountable as well. If I read past letters and they continue to list the same thing over and over then I need to take a look at what’s holding me back and how to get beyond the wall. Is it something I really do want or is it something I think I should want? For goodness sake, these are my hopes and dreams — SHOULDS are not allowed.
My letter this year, as I enter a new decade (and a Leap Year!) will be filled with outrageous GOALS & WHAT IF’s and WHY NOT’S? Nothing to lose, everything to gain and a letter that will surly bring me smiles next year at this time either way! Twenty-Twenty – Here I come!
I’ve been going through my closets and looking at the pile of things I have accumulated over the past year. Someone gave me a baby doll to give to my granddaughter but she’s into goats and sheep and horses. No dolls in her bed (thank you very much.)
In another room, on another shelf is a package of Leggos and some action figures still in their original boxes. I also have some Christmas tea towels, soaps and lotions.
These items were bought ‘just in case’ however, now I have a surplus of items that need to be regifted, rehomed, recycled and used. Here and now.
So, I logged on to my Freecycle.org account and posted the item ‘Offered: Baby Doll: still in box’ for someone who maybe needs a gift for a little girl or boy. I will list the other items and post them as well.
In my room, I have a wonderful candle that I light every now and then. I decided to burn what I have and order more. I went to the Henri Bendel website to order a new supply of Vanilla Bean candles only to find that HENRI BENDEL has closed up shop and all my candles are no more. It’s actually the smell and the memories they evoke that I’ll miss the most.
Maybe that’s why people hold on to so many things – forgetting that it’s not the THING but the memory behind it that matters.
There are some smells that take me right back to another place and time. Old Spice, Jean Nate cologne, Ambush perfume, cigar smoke, Chanel #5, lilacs, cinnamon sticks – all have a place in my memory bank.
But not on my shelves or in my closets. Time to release, let go and plan to make more memories!
My friend Donna is making a huge move in her life. She put her job on hold for a year. She rented out her house. She sold her car. She downsized her belongings. She gave away possessions. She made the big announcement. She is almost on her way.
Donna plans to spend a year in Europe. Alone. But not really alone. Initially she will be volunteering at International Volunteer Head Quarters or IVHQ. Her plane will land in Italy and she will begin her position in January. After three months, she intends to travel and eventually walk the Camino de Santiago, or Way of St James in Spain.
Right now, with each release – of possessions, job duties and expectations, volunteer commitments, material items and her place in the community, she grows stronger.
Also, with each release, she questions her sanity, motives and actions.
In the anxious moments, are the bubbles of excitement floating over everything she does. The unknown paths, people, places and interactions keep her smiling and wondering.
I don’t want to be on her path but I love what it’s doing to her. Her energy is spiking and she’s so alive and living life like everyday is a snowday!
Another friend, Karen, is taking a painting class. When I talk to her on the phone, she sounds like a college kid. The ability to turn a white canvas into colorful meaning has allowed her to open up and breathe again.
I’m looking for my canvas too.
I think it’s the dreary, drab time of year that makes me want to do something bold. But I’m drawing a blank. (Ha, back to the white canvas … right?)
It is often this time of year when I do most of my soul searching. The atmosphere forces me to pause and take stock. What am I doing? What do I want to do? Where do I want to be next year at this time?
Infuse your life with action.
Don’t wait for it to happen.
Make it happen.
Make your own future.
Make your own hope.
Make your own love. And whatever your beliefs,
honor your creator,
not by passively waiting for grace to come down from upon high,
but by doing what you can to make grace happen…
yourself, right now, right down here on Earth. – Bradley Whitford
Where do you want to be? Got any amazing plans, projects or experiences you want to share? Send me a link, a comment or photo. Challenge me. Entice me. Push me. Pull me. Kick me. Then we can laugh about it. RIGHT NOW …. is a good time!
An enticing Netflix series will suck away a ton of hours. I recently watched a whole season of The Good Fight in less than a week. Since I had a free week on CBS All Access I devoted my time to completing that task. I know when Game of Thrones Season 8 crosses my path, I will make time for all 6 one-hour shows.
And those are the magic words –Making Time
I have four very close friends in the area who I haven’t seen in a while. Why is that? Too busy to connect, to make a date, to do coffee, to take a walk? And yet, I KNOW that when Game of Thrones Season 8 crosses my path, I will have time – as in 6 hours – that I will conveniently set aside to devour the last and final season.
So, where do I put my time? If my friends are so important, why are they not at the top of my priority list? Prior to social media, I picked up the phone and called. Then, gradually, I picked up my smartphone and texted. It was direct and purposeful. Now, weeks go by with them on my list to call but not actually doing so. Hmm, why is that? If I do indeed value their friendship, why not treat them as a precious commodity and give them something I treasure – time. Time to chat, laugh, connect and reunite.
Choosing where we spend our time
I make time for my grandchildren, little kids, engaging books, local concerts (especially when there is a fiddle included), good movies, early morning walks, informational or inspiring podcasts, mountains trips, scenic rides to see the autumn colors, and good conversations.
Most likely, you have your own priority list whether you are aware of it or not. Those places where you arrive early are probably high on your priority list and when you arrive late – well that says something as well.
The social suck
And then, all too common is the social suck. Facebook, Instagram, texting, Twitter, YouTube, Pinterest, and all those other online platforms that draw me in and hold me hostage. Yes, I have freewill … however, in those weak moments when I click on a video of twins in a crib, or a toddler singing in the back seat of the car or link to some volunteer activities or visit Ted Talks websites… I am a victim of the social suck.
These videos and sites can be amazing and they can also devour a big chunk of my morning. And what is the gain for me? Ummmm. Not much, really.
I met a woman who told me that she won’t have a cup of morning tea until she writes something, either in her journal, blog or online. Its her ‘carrot’ that keeps her moving forward. She did mention how much she loves her morning tea.
Another friend will only listen to audio books when she’s walking. It’s especially great when she has a deadline for an upcoming book group. She makes the time to fit in the walk so she can ‘read.’ Bam!
To be honest, I don’t think there is anything wrong with social media… As long as I know that when I venture into that realm, it will claim my time, usually more than I imagined. I often learn something online but most often, I lose time which I value and treasure.
Ever go to the store and NOT get the one and most important item you had on your list (usually, in this case it’s a mental list). That’s how I am when I get online. My intention is to get something specific only to be ambushed with other shiny objects.
I love and adore podcasts and audiobooks in small doses because when I listen to them, I’m not allowing my own ideas and powerful thoughts to come through. I listen and I learn. Yet, there’s no space for my creativity to shine when I am giving my time and attention to others.
For me, it’s like reading about writing, instead of writing. It’s having a library of books about how to write a query letter or resume or short story – but never taking the time to actually try it.
So, for the lonely and waning month of November, the focus will be on me. More writing, reading and creativity time. Making time for me. Imagine that!
I took a trip back in time and something really wonderful happened… autumn colors!
I went back ‘home’ to upstate NY and to visit friends in the Adirondacks and I happened to be there when the colors were at PEAK. Can you say LOTTERY WINNER? Because that was how I felt. Around every bend were gifts – bouquets of red maples, brown oaks, orange elms, and gold birch leaves danced to their own lovely tune. It was temporary. Autumn hugged me like an old friend and the embrace reminded me of all I had missed.
My awe continued as the view got even better – from the seat of a kayak. The reflection of the colors from the water made my heart skip and smile. Somehow, I happened onto the colors. They were waiting for me to arrive, I just know it. Everything synced up – just for me.
Going back … home is all about stories. Taking a drive to a long-ago camp (small cabin in the woods) my sisters reminisced about the good times they spent there. When I chimed in the conversation it was to say how much I didn’t like the place. I didn’t like the location, the damp and cold building with no running water and an outhouse. Nothing was nearby – except more woods, trees and little sunshine. And most of all, I didn’t like mice and the camp was filled with them. I was fifteen years old and had better places to be. The camp improved over the years and as running water, electricity and a toilet were added, I was more inclined to go but I was also older and moving on with my life. The camp was a touchstone for them and for me it was just a place in time… long ago.
For as much as I loved being on vacation and going back in time, eating haddock fish sandwiches, attending reunions and weddings, visiting family, picking apples, buying sausage pizza and munching on the most delicious Italian bread everywhere – I also looked forward to returning home to my routine. To freshly-made kale smoothies, exercise, mountain views, friends, family and healthy eating.
For as much as I love to travel, I mostly enjoy returning home.