Crash moments: When everything changes

We’ve all had these ‘crash moments’ in our world. When everything that kept us busy and struggling the night before is gone and something HUGE is on the table. We immediately take stock of our lives and determine what’s most important. The little things fall away. The overcrowded schedules disappear, family meals matter more, communication and honesty are incorporated into conversations again. 

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I love family. I have over thirty nieces and nephews across the globe. Some I know very well, some not at all. They are figuring it out, day by day, like I did at their age. They have issues. They have exciting news. They have problems. They feel lost. They feel misunderstood. They are happy. They are struggling. We’ve all been there, haven’t we? Now with a generation under me working through the same issues… I can be of help to them by listening. This process of life is where the learning happens.

Attending a family wedding last weekend, and listening to trials and tribulations my relatives were going through reminded me of my life at that age. My life back then included my husband, two sons, job choices, college expenses, high school graduations, baseball and soccer practices and schedules – until a diagnosis arrived and all the noise was eliminated in a second. Then the focus turned to what mattered most – family.

We’ve all had these ‘crash moments’ in our world. When everything that kept us busy and struggling the night before is gone and something HUGE is on the table. We immediately take stock of our lives and determine what’s most important. The little things fall away. The overcrowded schedules disappear, family meals matter more, communication and honesty are incorporated into conversations again.

Then, out of the decade of health, ill-health, illness and death – came the time to start anew. Whether I liked it or not – I was single again.  Saying goodbye was hard and yet, I was 48 years old and knew that there was no turning back. The role of wife was over. The plan to grow old with the man I married was gone. That took place 15 years ago. And, over time, I’ve found my place once again. New friends. New location. With the same love and appreciation for family.

Currently, my family members are dealing topics such as sadness, money issues, drug issues, love issues, and so many other ‘first-world’ problems. Their issues are real. Their sadness, confusion, heartache, and pain are all real. What I want for them is a wake-up call to help them let the petty stuff go so they can remember that time is finite.

Family matters. Love matters.

As long as we have food, shelter, family and love… we really have it all, don’t we?


I heard the term CRASH MOMENTS from Carla Moore. She literally survived a car accident and came out of it with a new look at her life and all the things she left unfinished. She was not ready to die but the accident gave her many reasons to live.
Carla Moore

I listened to the podcast Do It Scared and heard the interview with Carla Moore by Ruth Soukup (Episode #60)


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8 comments on “Crash moments: When everything changes”

  1. Thanks Leo. Too many times it comes down to us not having enough time to say the works, do the deeds or give the hugs that need to be expressed. Maybe this knowledge comes with years of laughter, living and love?

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  2. Hi Again. Thank you for visiting my blog. I thought I’d return the favor. I love what I’ve read here and on your “About” page. I’ve been a “family” person all my life, even as a teen. Unfortunately, my husband and I were unable to have children. Soon after we married, we moved away from home and didn’t have family or friends for 2 1//2 decades. Moving away, however, helped me immensely. It helped me to learn and grow outside of deep family dysfunction. I’m blessed now, to have moved back home and use what I learned for more healthy relationships. So, I know what you mean about needing something to wake up and be grateful.

    You’ve been through some very difficult times. I must admit, I grew teary reading about your losses. I admire your outlook in the wake of things. I’m interested to learn you have a psychology degree. I’m one of these armchair psychologists without the education. I love reading and learning about the psychology of relationships. My novel dives into the emotion of relationships, and I used a little of my own experiences. 😉

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  3. Hello Lori, Thanks for writing on my blog. I love my family and have lived away from them for over 40 years. It’s hard when big occasions arise but it’s ok, most of the time. My friends become my family and they are there for me to lean on. I wonder how my world would be different if I stayed in the vicinity of my hometown. Thank you again for your kind words.

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  4. Yes, the crash moment, the wake up call. Blessed are those who recognize the sparks that it brings. Here’s hoping all those who are facing issues in your family will rise above their situation. I wish them well; I wish you well.

    Thank you for dropping in at my blog and for your kind words.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. It was good to read your blog post here…but also sad to think of what you’ve endured. The term “crash moment” does seem to be like when we realize that things are not going to be the same. Yet there’s new opportunity to grow, to change, to shift perspective. Many blessings to you!

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Hello Miss N! I think it’s what steps we take after we get that wake up call, right? And what we learn from the crash moments. Thanks for dropping by and leaving a comment.

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