I always dreamed about having a mountain home. It won’t happen. I can rent one for a week and enjoy the crisp early morning air, take long walks, make campfires and fly fish to my heart’s content – – but not in my mountain home. And that’s ok. Not only is it ok, it takes a huge weight off my shoulders. If I did own the home, it would be alll the other stuff too — the mortgage payments, concern about forest fires, insurance, fees, winter preparation, utility payments, and on and on.
I feel ok with letting it go. I’ve released many hopes and dreams over my lifetime and replaced them with new ones.
Currently, I am sitting in a yard surrounded by all shades of green. I have privacy, can see the sky and totally enjoy my new environment. My plan began with emptying out my clutter, recycling items, and preparing to leave one home and move into another. Step by step, I released belongings, painted, dusted, and prepared for my departure. I was so ready to move I could taste it. Once here, it took several months to paint, brighten, update, renovate, and recreate my home. I let go of the mountain home and now embrace my city home.
Growing up, I didn’t have a list of goals and achievements I wanted to accomplish. I just went with the flow and found my way after I landed. I learned to be a wife, figured out how to be a mom, worked at various jobs, returned to school, found more jobs and lived in a piecemeal world. I never saw the big picture and how I would make my way through it. I just did it, maybe by instinct or happenstance or just plain luck.
Oh, yeah, about that luck… no such thing for me. My luck came in the form of family, friends, neighbors, colleagues, and even strangers. My luck is a give and take — a phone call, a hug, a card, fresh picked flowers, a dinner here and there — I am not just the receiver of this luck. I give it and I receive it. My luck is a community event.
Why am I going on and on? (That really is not rhetorical, I forgot…)
Oh yeah – dreams. We all know people who are living their dreams. There is a sense of contentment around them. My new dream is not a dream at all. It’s a reality that is in the process of unfolding. It includes living in a city, making new friends, becoming connected and finding a support system. Like the physical move, my plan takes many steps. Getting visible, attending functions, volunteering, making conversation, offering help, asking questions and putting myself ‘out there.’
Can you see my smile?