Letting Dreams Go

Rustic Rocky Mountain Log Cabin - Can't you just smell the wood fire burning?
Rustic Rocky Mountain Log Cabin – Can’t you just smell the wood fire burning?

I always dreamed about having a mountain home. It won’t happen. I can rent one for a week and enjoy the crisp early morning air, take long walks, make campfires and fly fish to my heart’s content – – but not in my mountain home. And that’s ok. Not only is it ok, it takes a huge weight off my shoulders. If I did own the home, it would be alll the other stuff too — the mortgage payments, concern about forest fires, insurance, fees, winter preparation, utility payments, and on and on.

I feel ok with letting it go. I’ve released many hopes and dreams over my lifetime and replaced them with new ones.

Currently, I am sitting in a yard surrounded by all shades of green. I have privacy, can see the sky and totally enjoy my new environment. My plan began with emptying out my clutter, recycling items, and preparing to leave one home and move into another. Step by step, I released belongings, painted, dusted, and prepared for my departure. I was so ready to move I could taste it. Once here, it took several months to paint, brighten, update, renovate, and recreate my home. I let go of the mountain home and now embrace my city home.

Growing up, I didn’t have a list of goals and achievements I wanted to accomplish. I just went with the flow and found my way after I landed. I learned to be a wife, figured out how to be a mom, worked at various jobs, returned to school, found more jobs and lived in a piecemeal world. I never saw the big picture and how I would make my way through it. I just did it, maybe by instinct or happenstance or just plain luck.

Oh, yeah, about that luck… no such thing for me. My luck came in the form of family, friends, neighbors, colleagues, and even strangers. My luck is a give and take — a phone call, a hug, a card, fresh picked flowers, a dinner here and there — I am not just the receiver of this luck. I give it and I receive it.  My luck is a community event.

Why am I going on and on? (That really is not rhetorical, I forgot…)

marge and sophie
Making new friends along the way!

Oh yeah – dreams. We all know people who are living their dreams. There is a sense of contentment around them. My new dream is not a dream at all. It’s a reality that is in the process of unfolding. It includes living in a city, making new friends, becoming connected and finding a support system. Like the physical move, my plan takes many steps. Getting visible, attending functions, volunteering, making conversation, offering help, asking questions and putting myself ‘out there.’

Can you see my smile?

What made us friends in the long ago?

Years ago I bought a card that had a poem on it. I kept the card and memorized the poem. Today I dedicate it to a dear friend as a birthday poem, a friendship poem and words that will hopefully make you and all my readers smile.

hollyhock4All my love to you, Dahling…

What made us friends in the long ago
When we first met?
Well, I think I know.
The best in you and the best in me
Hailed each other because we could see
That always and ever
Since time began,
Our being friends was part of the plan.

George Webster Douglas ~

Moments matter

aspen in steamboatRobin Williams died this week.  He was suffering in ways we never knew. He was hurting and in pain. We didn’t know and if we did, we couldn’t help him.

There are so many people – friends and family and neighbors and colleagues who are also struggling right now. They are in a bad state because of their health, finances, marriage issues, job status, money struggles, addictions, fears and frets. These people are within range and can be reached. We have to reach out and say those magical word …”I’ve been thinking about you.” Then we need to just be quiet.  We can make a difference.

hollyhock3I can’t take the pain away that someone is feeling but I can be there for them when they need to talk. I can’t get those people through the dark night but I can hold their hand as they wade through the sludge.

I believe we are surrounded by people with stories – some are huge and over the top amazing stories! Most are everyday stories about average people just figuring it out. Some are about black-footed ferrets, tennis lessons, vegetable gardens, and others are about medications, health problems, loneliness and struggles. They are only uncovered when we take time to let others tell their stories.  Some people will gush with the chance to share and others will let their stories out bit by bit.

It’s about acknowledging the other person at the table, on the bus, in line at the store, in the other car, on the phone, at the drive-thru. Simple, really and on the surface pretty basic stuff, but the end result can be so much more. Sometimes there’s a sigh or a smile.

 

He made me laugh.